When it comes to creating followership, the solution needs to begin with us.

Often times when a leader has difficulty with his or her employees, the issue is
not the employee, it’s the leader. It is so easy for us to look outside ourselves,
and blame other people for our problems.

“If Bill would only pay more attention to detail, I wouldn’t have to do this report
myself.”

“If Mark stopped being so negative, I would be able to create a more productive
team.”

Yes, these are legitimate complaints, but often times we don’t start looking for
solutions in the right place. I’m sure you’ve heard of the old saying, “If you always
do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.” When
it comes to creating followership, the solution needs to begin with us. Instead
of trying to “fix” our employees, let us take a hard look at ourselves first. Ask
yourself this difficult but telling question; “what am I doing that contributes to
the problem?” Often times it’s our interaction style, the way we communicate,
our unspoken expectations, or our inability to address difficult behavioral issues
when they arise, that creates the problem to begin with. A leader isn’t a leader
unless they have followers, no matter what their title. So the next time you find
yourself frustrated over what your employee, colleague, child or spouse did this
time, remember to look inside before you spend any time looking outside.

sometimes our thoughts are not our friends; they can be our worst critics

As I prepare my HR Star Conference presentation, “Moving Positively Through Change” I am struck by how much change is currently going on in my life. I have recently resigned from a wonderful organization that I had been with for 14 years, to pursue a long time dream of starting my own corporate training and coaching business. Wow! It sure is scary and I find myself having to catch my breath as occasional waves of panic come over me…. What if I’m not good enough? What if I can’t do this? What if I fail? In my calmer more rational moments, I can look at the situation logically; I know I am good enough. I have years of experience doing this. I have already been successful and have received wonderful support, encouragement and feedback along the way. So what’s my problem?

I recently started researching the practice of mindfulness and have just finished the book “Mindfulness for Beginners” by Jon Kabat-Zinn (2012). Mindfulness is defined as “paying attention on purpose in the present moment and non-judgmentally.” So how do I apply this in my life? Well, as it turns out the practice of mindfulness has helped me stay in the present moment, appreciate what is around me, and take the time that is needed to discover more about myself. What I do know is that sometimes our thoughts are not our friends; they can be our worst critics. But in these moments when we struggle to keep our confidence up, if we just stop and become aware of what we are doing and recognize our situation at that time, we may be able to go a little easier on ourselves. For example, I noticed that my inner critic seemed to surface when I was tired. Once I felt more energized, I was back to my old cheerful, confident self, ready to take on the world and this new endeavor of mine. My point, give yourself a break! Notice when your “inner critic” comes out and why. As the author, Jon Kabat-Zinn says, “Meet every moment with openness, generosity and kindness.” Just your awareness is enough.